Ahhh the buzz topic of the world being discussed within your romantic endeavors. Sophia, will this be too much of messy situation; or can we acknowledge this is something that should be talked about?
Well, if any of you have seen the awesome social experiment of a show, “Love is Blind”; you may be aware they released three new episodes titled, “After the Altar”, which follows the couples and individuals two years after either getting married or being left at the altar.
Now, this was a huge moment for television, as well as dating history; because people where falling in love by only talking with a person without seeing their face and body. No sexual contact of course as well. It was solely through verbal interactions, that these men and women got to learn about each other and ultimately decide if they want to tie the knot.
Following these couples journeys gave me hope that love is out there and maybe approaching it in a non-traditional sense is effect. As we know many arranged marriages can be very successful; but it also made me question, can emotional ties have you overlook demographic differences? For all intensive purposes, the answer is yes; but I feel a full dissection of this question is needed and an example too.
Now the example I’ll discuss touches home for me, and I will be vulnerable and give you some details I have experienced.
The first thing I observed in these latest episodes was the daunting yet glamorous relationship of Damian and Gigi. For background information; Damian is 29, white, tall, muscular, and honestly playing games with Gigi. Gigi is 27, hispanic, social media connoisseur, and was left at the altar by Damian. But these two proceeded to date after to really get to know each other more and continue the love they did share for each other. The fact of the matter is, they are on and off again, without clear boundaries in mind during their “breaks”. There is also the topic of Gigi’s personality and racial qualities that come into topic occasionally throughout the show. Whether these aspects of her are brought up by her, her family, or even Damian himself; it is quickly tossed aside.
The triggering stereotype of hispanic/latina women being loud, dramatic, indecisive, and a lot to handle is brought up and although may be held as truth at times, even acknowledged by Gigi and her family; it creates this energy/excuse of why Gigi is unmarriable and Damian has the right to play games, that he is a victim.
When in reality, he cannot handle Gigi or is not willing too. For me, I have definitely seen first hand how racial stigma/stereotypes can make or break a relationship.
Me being biracial, puerto rican and black, has always given me an internal struggle of where I belong and I have noticed me not being fully black when I am with certain black men gives off this vibe that I cannot understand or be black enough. On top of race, I feel the lack of education on age, body type, and sex(M/F) is barely ever digested/understood when being in a relationship. People become uncomfortable acknowledging different ethnicities, ages, bodies, and sexes. We cannot always be open or receive openness in discussing how being a certain age or having certain body issues or backgrounds has shaped us. It’s scary to be in the dating world with the lack of maturity and education is prominent in mainstream media; it just reinforces my idea that maybe we are not as ready for relationships as we think we are.
I believe Damian has a lot to learn and maybe should focus on himself or even what he is used too, because it is evident Gigi is not someone he loves enough to embrace and work on their relationship for.
I believe the experiences I have had regarding my races, body, age, and sex has inherently halted my pursuit in a partner and even deteriorated my faith in dating men in general. I am running out of patience and starting to believe we cannot always be paired up for life. I know many young and older men/women whom have chosen a life of solitude and even though I remain hopeful, I’m starting to grow comfortable in the idea that sometimes you may not find marriage, a boyfriend/girlfriend/, a sexual equal. I am not sure what the future holds for us in the single world; but I sure as hell hope, we can start to become more open with discussing/acknowledging/learning about our differences and working on how we can coexist…..
The Curious Mind of a Female 